'Hard Candy' A Good Treat, But Lacks Some Sweetness

"Strangers shouldn't talk to little girls."

Release Date: January 2005 (Sundance); April 14, 2006 (Limited)

Starring: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson, Sandra Oh

Director: David Slade

Writer: Brian Nelson

MPAA Rating: Rated R for disturbing violent and aberrant sexual content involving a teen, and for language.

Trailer

Once again, children can be f*cking terrifying.

'Hard Candy' is a psychological thriller surrounding a budding online-turned-face-to-face relationship between a 14-year-old girl, Hayley Stark ('Juno' and 'Inception's Ellen Page), and 30-something photographer, Jeff Kohlver ('The Phantom of the Opera' and 'Watchmen's Patrick Wilson).

The two agree online to meet up at a cafe'. It isn't long until Hayley goes into Jeff's home. Images of the color red flash constantly, as if exposing the coming omnious events...not against Hayley, but against Jeff...

As the tagline says, "Strangers shouldn't talk to little girls."

I've been interested in 'Hard Candy' for a while now and finally got around to watching it and finished it today.

The story has always intrigued me and I was a bit disappointed with the film.

It has its great moments and great dialogue, don't get me wrong. At one point, Hayley and Jeff have this interesting little banter that I really liked. (Courtesy of IMBD)

Jeff Kohlver: You were coming on to me!
Hayley Stark: Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.
Jeff Kohlver: Who?
Hayley Stark: Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does. I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!' You take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!

That being said, there were also moments when the dialogue lacked something and was just messy. The writing and/or the performances weakened sometimes.
 
Still, the concept of 'Hard Candy' is pretty awesome and Ellen Page really did do a good job. The ending of the film makes me feel torn as to whether or not all this was justified or if Hayley was just a maniac. Seriously, if a pedophile's worst nightmare is Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen, they have no idea what fear really is.

Suddenly Chris Hansen is much more appealing than underage girls.

There was also one point in the film where I made this horrified face:

Courtesy of the Spanish Inquistion and Monty Python

I honestly think that 'Hard Candy' is 'To Catch a Predator' meets 'Hostel' and that would make a much more interesting show...albeit more controversial than just "entrapment."
 
As a whole, I thought the film could have been much better than it really is. The concept is, as I've stated before, pretty kick-ass. 'Hard Candy' was missing something though, but I applaude it for originality and for the performances of the actors. So, if you must, treat yourself to a little 'Hard Candy.' Don't expect anything sweet though.

Rent worthy? Yeah, just for the concept alone I'd say it's worth checking out once, but you may or may not be disappointed. Part of me still wants people to give it a chance though. I suppose it really depends on what kinds of films you normally get into.
 
DVD/Blu-Ray worthy? I'm not going to buy it. I think it is good enough to watch once, maybe twice if I want to see through it again.
 
Random Trivia: There have been real-life events that 'Hard Candy' reminded me of. Although they don't go as far as Hayley did in the film, there have been cases in Japan where schoolgirls will seduce in men into an alley. Instead of getting forbidden fruit, the men find themselves getting beat up and having their valuables taken from them. I'd feel bad for the men more if they weren't expecting to get some underage action.
 
Keep on watchin'
The Little Critic

'The Orphanage' Another Movie That Makes You Wonder Why Kids Are So Goddamn Creepy

Release Date: January 11, 2008 (USA)

Starring: Belen Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Princep, Edgar Vivar

Director: Juan Antonio Bayona

Writer: Sergio G. Sanchez

MPAA Rating: Rated R for some disturbing content

Trailer


Official Movie Website

I'm back! I'm not dead! Halloween and its horrifying ghouls have not gotten to me yet! Sorry for the long wait on my next entry.


In light of Halloween, I'll be reviewing some of my favorite scary/horror films...and some not so good ones (see 'Devil').

Please do not confuse 'The Orphanage' with the crappy 2009 US film 'Orphan.'


'Orphan' = Crap.

'The Orphanage' is a 2007, Spanish film surrounding Laura's (Belen Rueda) family. Laura moves her husband (Fernando Cayo) and young son, Simon (Roger Princep), into a huge hoouse that used to be her orphanage when she was younger.

Laura plans to make the large home into a place for disabled children. Problems arise when Simon believes he has a masked friend, Tomas, living with them at the home.

Laura believes Simon is making up imaginary friends due to the move and thinks nothing of it at first. It is not until Simon disappears after an argument that Laura begins to wonder if there are spirits in her old home.

'The Orphanage' is a horror film with a great story. It reminds me of another film titled 'The Others' in the style and feel.

The story is quite melancholy and dark, as all horror films tend to be. However, there is also love shining through the film as a mother longs to find her child. I love horror films that have a bit of an emotional feel to it. As much as slasher films are amusing, I tend to be more attracted to human emotion-filled horror movies. I remember them much more easily that way, as long as they're good.


Make me cry, Jason. MAKE ME CRY!

The actors were believable and Belen Rueda did an excellent job in her role as the mother.
On the "scare meter" of the film, there are not too many jumping moments, save for one where it creeped the f*ck out of me. First time I saw 'The Orphanage,' I watched it on the computer and I had my face close to the screen the moment that happened. I responded correctly in freaking out with an increased heart rate.

So, if you want to be scared a lot while watching this, I wouldn't recommend this. This is a horror film all about story and content; not about young teenagers getting murdered for having sex in the woods.

Rent worthy? I'd definitely say this is worth watching once. I think it is available on Netflix for those of you who have it. If you do not, refer to my previous entry on the Pros & Cons of Netflix.

DVD/Blu-ray worthy? If you enjoyed it as much as I did, then you might own it. No need to get it on Blu-ray quality; the DVD is good enough for 'The Orphanage.'

Keep on watchin'

The Little Critic